Are you afraid of his temper? Or the way he acts when he drinks? Or what he might do if you tried to break up with him? Abuse is not just a matter of someone having a bad day or getting into a bad mood sometimes. In a healthy relationship, you: Resolve conflicts effectively Are not violent with each other Have an enjoyable time together Have a sense of privacy Trust each other Each decide what you are comfortable with sexually Can express your desires as well as things you are not comfortable with Have personal privacy of who you talk to, call, write to, etc. Make healthy decisions about drugs and alcohol Have, and encourage each other to have other friends Are honest about your past and present sexual activity if the relationship is intimate Know that most people in your life friends and family are happy about the relationship Have more good times overall in the relationship than bad In an unhealthy relationship, one or both of you:

Should You Say “I Love You” First?

But there can often be more subtle signs that something’s just not right between you and your partner—or between you and a close friend, a coworker, or a family member. It’s not just romantic relationships that can become toxic. No matter what form a relationship takes, it’s important to pay attention to how it really makes you feel, says Andrea Bonior, PhD, adjunct professor of psychology at Georgetown University and author of The Friendship Fix.

To help you do just that, here are 30 signs you’ve entered toxic territory—and what you may be able to do about it. Advertisement 2 of 31 Getty Images You’re always walking on eggshells “One of the first signs of a toxic relationship is when one partner is very controlling,” says Bonior. Controlling doesn’t always mean physically threatening or violent.

Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion or gender can be a victim — or perpetrator — of domestic violence.

Originally published on Everyday Feminism. I was scared to admit it. The words came flooding back from my subconscious. How could I be so petty as to resent someone who never yelled at me or physically hurt me, who I loved and wanted more than anything to get along with? But all the fights that seemed resolved every time he dropped me off at my apartment kept creeping back.

I was just overreacting. He was so loving and kind in so many ways. The memories would resurface days and weeks later. Viewing relationships like transactions. Such an underserving girlfriend. The truncated hairs fell one by one, severing the half of me still angry he never paid me back. Never mind the money. Never mind the thesis. What was wrong with me?

22 signs your partner is insecure, manipulative and totally not good for you

Some manipulators are highly skilled. As your strings are pulled this way and that, you do just what the puppet master wants you to do. You only need to look at yourself to know if manipulation is at play.

They use a plethora of diversionary tactics that distort the reality of their victims and deflect responsibility.

October 21, Q: I think I’m dating a narcissist! But how can I tell for sure? There are three hallmark characteristics of a narcissist: How does this reveal itself? He may be arrogant, grandiose, entitled, manipulative, and extremely sensitive to any criticism. While many folks use the term “narcissist” to label someone who is super confident, it’s not the same thing.

If someone is wooing you with creative dates and an air of self-assurance, that doesn’t mean he’s trouble. Unlike self-confident people, those with narcissistic tendencies expect to be treated as superior or put on a pedestal. They’re preoccupied with thoughts of being powerful, attractive, famous, and smart, even if those thoughts don’t line up with their real accomplishments. These tendencies must be interfering with the person’s relationships and work, though, for him to be diagnosed with actual narcissistic personality disorder.

7 red-flag phrases that could mean it’s time to break up with your partner

A few months ago, I was on a date with a guy when he asked me the second-date question I hate the most: For like a few months here and there. But aside from virginity loss, that relationship was about as meaningful as a high school relationship could be. I thought of Will, Jude, Rob, and the dozens of other men who have come through my life.

They may yell at a person, criticize a person, or threaten a person to get him to do something.

The Dating Nerd is a shadowy figure whose whereabouts and identifying details remain unknown. What we do know is that he is really, really good at dating. We’ve been dating for three and a half months now, and the feelings she gives me — I know that’s love. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, and I want to show it to her. Usually the woman says “I love you” first, no? Should I say it if she hasn’t? I think she might — she responds to all my texts and told me she wants us to be exclusive.

I don’t want to ruin this by bringing my feelings into it too soon. What do I do? Go ahead and say “I love you” first. You can just blurt it out when the moment is right.

Men and Relationships: 5 Signs He’ll Never Commit

Sometimes, even the most loving partner may subconsciously behave in a certain way or say a few things that can hurt their lover. The truth is, couples almost always fall apart because of disappointments and resentments. Remember, if your partner truly loves you, they may not want to hurt you intentionally.

Once they get bored with you because the spell of the initial conquest has worn off, the way they maintain control of you is through deception, isolation, abuse, gaslighting and undermining your self-confidence.

More information and tickets are available here: Relationships with them are always castles—or, sometimes, marriages—built on sand. In their book on psychopaths in the workplace, entitled Snakes in Suits, Babiak and Hare state that the psychopathic bond follows certain predictable stages: This process may take several years or only a few hours. It all depends on what the psychopath wants from you and whether or not you present a challenge to him.

If the psychopath wants the semblance of respectability—a screen behind which he can hide his perverse nature and appear harmless and normal—he may establish a long-term partnership with you or even marry you. If all he wants is to have some fun, it will be over within a couple of hours. If he wants the stimulation and diversion of an affair, he may stay with you for as long as you excite him. Despite the differences in timeline, what remains constant is this: Babiak and Hare explain that although psychopaths are highly manipulative, the process of idealize, devalue and discard is a natural outgrowth of their personalities.

Why ‘love bombing’ is the new relationship trend all singletons need to look out for

Watching Their Behavior 1 Notice if the person always wants you to speak first. Manipulative people want to listen to what you have to say so they can find out your strengths and weaknesses. They will ask you probing questions so that you will talk about your personal opinions and feelings. These questions usually begin with “What,” “Why,” or “How. Take into consideration the other things the person does as well.

The manipulative person will not reveal much personal information during these conversations but focus on you instead.

Their lies serve a dual function.

Scorpios are fiercely independent. They are able to accomplish anything they put their mind to and they won’t give up. They are perfectly suited to being on their own. They are not social butterflies like some other zodiac signs and some actually prefer to live on their own that way there is never any issue of who controls what at home, they like to be in control.

Relationships with Scorpio are always complicated, just like the person, their relationships are a series of extremes, they can even be downright moody for no apparent reason. Scorpios are known for their possessiveness and jealousy but on the other hand, they are extremely loyal. Scorpios have an excellent memory and combined with an inability to let things go, they can hold a grudge against someone who did them harm forever, in fact a Scorpio rarely if never forgives and forgets.

They will even go as far as get vengeance on the person. On the other hand, they will always remember a kind gesture forever and repay it. Any kind selfless gesture done to a Scorpio will gain trust and respect which is extremely important to them in any relationship, either romantic or not. The best advice is to be honest with a Scorpio friend and in return, you will gain an amazing friend you will never forget and who will be loyal to you and never make false promises.

Their truthful and shocking sense of humor if different than that of any other zodiac sign and the Scorpio makes an amazing, powerful interesting friend that can be trusted. In business, Scorpios tend to easily gather wealth, they make very wise business decisions and they are very conservative about spending their money. Scorpios are known for making money and hiding it, they will not announce it due to to fear that others will take the same route and becoming a possible competitor, or worse try to use the Scorpio to their advantage to use them for their money.

30 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship

Photo illustration by Slate. An edited transcript of the chat is below. Sign up below to get Dear Prudence delivered to your inbox each week.

Viewing relationships like transactions.

The early sighs of love bombing can just look like a blossoming relationship. Take a step back. Why do you think that? If you’ve just met somebody who is saying you’re “soul mates” and declaring their undying love for you after a few weeks, you might have just become the victim of something called “love bombing. The person is loving, caring, and affectionate, and they seem to just get you.

Things progress quickly, and you start to wonder whether this is what you’ve been missing. However, it doesn’t last, and as soon as you show a hint of caring about anything other than your new partner, they get furious with you and label you as selfish. Their mask slips, and you see someone mean, belittling, and unreasonable underneath.

Dealing With Manipulative Women